Why Is A Woman’s Virginity Important?
Here’s the thing about virginity: it is a social construct. Despite people thinking virginity is the be-all and end-all of a woman’s life, the hymen doesn’t really mean anything. In fact, it can be broken while doing everyday things, like cycling! So what’s the big deal with virginity? Why do we pressure young women to be virgins?
Biologically, does virginity exist?
TL;DR : No.
Long answer: Between society not speaking about it and the American Pie movie series glorifying it — losing it or otherwise — we know that when penis-in-vagina sex happens, that’s when someone is no longer a virgin, or has lost their virginity. And for those with penises, there’s no well real check that can be applied but for those with vaginas, the test is to check if their hymen has ‘broken.’
There are a number of things wrong with this, from a biological perspective. But before we get there, let’s look at the ‘sex’ part. It very conveniently ignores those who aren’t keen in penis-in-vagina sex. It also doesn’t consider consent. And this much alone should be enough to deter putting a label on this very specific moment for a part of the larger populous called ‘losing your virginity’
Now, technically, the hymen is a fleshy tissue found at the opening of a vagina. The name comes from the Greek God Hymenaios, the God of Marriage — clearly that’s how old virginity and marriage are linked together.
Every person with a vagina has a different type of hymen. Some are born with very little hymenal tissue while some develop a fairly large hole through the years for ease of flow of period blood.
Besides that, those who use tampons or those who indulge in heavy exercise or sports often stretch their hymen. Some have an extremely thick membrane of tissues that doesn’t get stretched even after penetrative sex.
And biologically, all of these are considered ‘normal’. One cannot decide upon the status of their virginity with the way that their hymen exists (or doesn’t). The hymen has a mucus-like texture, that stretches and opens up. And technically, it doesn’t ‘break’. Due to this, most people don’t even bleed after penetrative sex. Their hymen can naturally tend to open up through sports, masturbation or penetrative menstruation items.
Hence proved, virginity doesn’t exist. The policing on women’s bodies by patriarchal societies does though, unfortunately.
Virginity = A Social Construct
A social construct is a concept widely believed by members of the society. It may not always be true. In most cases they don’t get updated from the time they were created, making them unreliable, for example; the concept of virginity.
Sex is an umbrella term for an experience of a humanly need, simply put. It exists in multiple different definitions, on the perception of each individual. So, if you think about it, the idea that one loses their virginity after the first time they have “sex” falls short right there and then.
According to the School of Sexuality Education, this enforces a heteronormative idea of sex and relationships. The Swedish Association of Sexuality Education, RFSU, has even come up with a new term called the vaginal corona to address what is traditionally called the hymen. This is to eliminate any and every negative stereotype formed around the concept of virginity and hymens, to create a safer place for all those with vaginas, and for them to learn about their bodies and enjoy their experiences without being shamed.
The social construct aspect of this comes through when you look at the data of how women’s bodies behave. Less than one third of women bleed after the first time they participate in penile penetrative sex. Oftentimes when a hymen is surgically cut open, it doesn’t bleed. This is due to the fewer blood vessels present in the tissue.
According to the history of virginity, there were times in the 19th century where sex with virgins was considered to be the cure to diseases such as syphillis. Basically, being a virgin or a non-virgin was controversial either way to the woman and her body.
So the concept of virginity has remained as archaic as our myths and folklore and it’s roots in science are still to take hold of the larger mindset of many cultures. Hence, the concept of a ‘hymen’ just like that of ‘virginity’ are more under question than ever yet society at large doesn’t seem to have got the memo.
Virginity Tests
There’s a concept, that of the ‘virginity test’ which gets practiced in about twenty countries even today. It apparently determines whether a person with a vagina is a ‘virgin’ or not. This gets decided on the basis of their hymen tearage. A plain white cloth spotted with blood concludes their innocence for the rest of the people around them. If they’re ‘impure’ or if the white cloth remains unstained, they may get ostracized and lose their status in society for sinning (regardless of whether their previous sexual encounter was consensual, or even existed in the first place)
The idea of a virginity test is followed by a fear getting instilled within women who want to avoid the trouble that comes after a clean sheet is produced. The solution to this fear is a hymen reconstruction surgery, or Hymenorrhaphy. More and more women are setting out to get their hymens reconstructed, solely for the sake of their parents’ honour or their social standing. The only reason is a conservative mindset that is backed up by patriarchy.
Virginity tests aren’t medically backed up, for obvious reasons as discussed above. They in fact do more harm than repair. It is not only mentally exhausting but physically risky too. Reports suggest that these tests are responsible for a rise in STI cases and have also been a cause for contagious diseases being spread in Africa, where this testing is prevalent.
Now, various United Nation agencies like UN Human Rights, UN Women and the World Health Organization have asked for the virginity test to be eliminated completely as it holds no medical back-up and can be misused. India followed through with this in 2015 and asked for the commonly termed, ‘two-finger test’ to be taken out for rape victim cases.
Pop culture representations of virginity
One of the most recent events surrounding virginity in pop culture is that of American rapper T.I and his statement about visiting his daughter’s gynaecologist every year to get her hymen checked. But he is not alone!
Popular shows like The Bachelor with a large following prove to be quite insensitive to the topic as well. They freely mock those who choose to be virgins, which is the other side of this issue. If you haven’t lost your virginity by the time you’re in your 20’s, you’re not perceived as someone respectable. But this only applies to the male population. While on the other hand, women who choose to live a life of sexual encounters with different men, like Taylor Swift, get shamed for the same.
Then there’s Bollywood that shows up with films like Virgin Bhanupriya every now and again to represent the understanding of Indian audience’s idea of sex and virginity.
In Hindi cinema, rebellious women are often shown as those who freely indugle in sex while the ‘pure’ and ‘innocent’ characters have their noses buried in books, with glasses resting upon their scrunched up noses. Both these women can be rebellious, except that the male audiences wouldn’t believe the same if you told them this. And so, it just doesn’t work enough to be sold.
Conclusion: Why we need to stop obsessing with virginity
Virginity, like mentioned before, is a concept and cannot be tangibly proved through tests. The only way to prove it is by the status of a woman’s hymen which, again, has absolutely no scientific backup.
Sex isn’t a ritual, nor is it only in the hands of a man. It isn’t a tool to be used over a woman, this only perpetuates rape culture further. Sex is a need according to Maslow’s Hierachy of Needs, and as much as the patriarchy opposes a woman’s right to choice, freedom and privacy, she is as much human as her counter-part and thus, has similar needs.
We need to stop obsessing over virginity and more over sex education that needs to be inculcated in our everyday conversations as well as syllabuses. Better safe and scientifically backed up than sorry.
