Why Imposter Syndrome Makes You Feel Like a Fraud
Do you frequently find yourself questioning your work? Do you credit your well-earned success to sheer, dumb luck?
Have you ever hesitated from trying something new because of the fear of not being good at it and being exposed as a fraud? Then you probably have a case of the Impostor Syndrome. Don’t worry; it’s neither a disease nor a disorder. Instead, it is a feeling of inadequacy. Although anybody can experience it, it is more commonly found among women.
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- So, what exactly IS the Impostor Syndrome (IS)?
Literally, it is when you feel like an impostor or “a fraud” especially at your workplace. Dr Pauline Clance and Dr. Suzanne Imes coined the term ‘impostor syndrome’ in 1978 defining it as “an individual experience of self-perceived intellectual phoniness”. According to their findings, despite an impressive roster of achievements, women still felt under-qualified, stupid and frauds. And this experience is unanimous.
Well-known personalities such as Lizzo, Tina Fey and Michelle Obama (among others) have also confessed to feeling like impostors. What makes this syndrome so widespread?
i.) Some psychologists have blamed a biological component that contributes to this: testosterone or ‘the confidence hormone’. Characteristic to men, the production of this hormone in women is much lower thus resulting in feelings of inadequacy and low self-confidence. But that’s not all.
ii.) Gender stereotypes, family dynamics, workplace culture and childhood conditioning are some of the many contributing factors. Studies have shown that children are subjected to stereotypes starting from age 3. And so, by the time girls turn 10 years old, stereotypes such as women shouldn’t aspire for financial success and women must always be susheel and sanskaari are fully well-established into a woman’s subconscious. Thus marking the beginning of their descent into Impostor Syndrome.
iii.) However, the opposite of these oppressive stereotypes towards women is equally to blame. Some households encourage women to do it all — from excelling in their workplace and family to maintaining a healthy social life. In fact, women are encouraged so much that this onsets the impostor syndrome making women feel like they can never achieve the impossibly (and unreasonably) high standards set for them.
2. This brings us to the FIVE types of impostors
i.) The Perfectionist: Remember Monica from F.R.I.E.N.D.S.? Yes. Just as Monica constantly tried to get her parents’ approval and do everything to perfection, th perfectionist impostor sets unachievable standards of work for themselves and then self-deprecates for not meeting them. Our tip for you? Channel your inner Joey.
ii.) The Superwoman: There is a scene in the movie ‘The Intern’ where Jules (Anne Hathaway) is discussing her beau’s affair with Ben (Robert De Niro). She is a ‘superwoman’ who essays the role of a boss, mother, wife, daughter and friend. After learning about the affair, she briefly blames her own success for the downfall of her relationship. Today, there are plenty of such women who “do it all” and are labeled as superwomen. But, the concept of ‘superwoman’ has been found to be extremely toxic. It puts unnecessary pressure on women to not only do it all, but to do it all WELL. And if they don’t excel at everything, they end up blaming their own inabilities. To the Superwoman Impostor, we would like to say: you’re only human, undoubtedly a badass one, but still, only human. Cut yourself some slack.
iii.) The Natural Genius: The Natural Genius Impostor scrutinises herself for the time it takes her to learn a new skill. She constantly believes that there are better people who deserve her job and are better at what she does. If it is any solace to you, both Maya Angelou and Albert Einstein, too, felt as if their work was not worth the laurels received. So, by that standard, we think you’re doing just fine.
iv.) The Soloist: Have you ever finished a group assignment all by yourself because you only trust yourself and also, you don’t know how to ask for help? You’re probably a Soloist Impostor. For this kind of impostor, asking for help in general is seen as a sign of failure.
v.) The Expert: For the Expert, no amount of knowledge is enough. And while that is usually a positive sentiment, it can quickly take a turn for the worse if it makes you feel like you are the stupidest person in the room because you don’t know it all. Fun fact: no one does.
3. So, how does this individual experience impact your life?
IS manifests itself in many ways; especially when it comes to a woman’s career. Research shows that most women do not apply for a job that they don’t think they are 100% qualified for. This is not the case for men, who apply for a job even if they are 60% qualified for it. Many women, especially women of colour, are reluctant to share their ideas during meetings or even to ask for a promotion.
4. How do you deal with it?
Michelle Obama, while discussing her experience with the Impostor Syndrome, rightly declared, “It never goes away.” While that might sound discouraging, there are ways that you can learn to live with it:
i.) Become self-aware: Make a list of all your strengths and take complete credit for your wins. Ironically, women credit their successes to sheer luck and failures to a lack of ability. Don’t. Come back to this list whenever your inner critic says that you aren’t good enough. And don’t be humble while making this list. No one but you is going to read it.
ii.) Affirm. Use positive, self-esteem boosting affirmations to instill confidence in yourself. You can even enlist songs for an added boost (see: anything by Lizzo!)
iii.) Create an alter-ego to call your Impostor out on her BS. Like Beyoncé created her alter-ego Sasha Fierce to combat stage fright, you create your own alter ego to combat the Impostor Syndrome. Suggestion: Geet from Jab We Met. Be apni favourite.
Conclusion:
The thing about Impostor Syndrome is that it is normalised in workplaces and even at home. A modest, withholding woman is seen as a good woman while the confident one who speaks her mind is seen as someone threatening. Don’t let your inner critic disempower you from achieving the great things you are capable of. Meet your Impostor with the movie ‘Aar Paar’s renowned song jaa jaa jaa jaa bewafa.
