Why Are Millennial Women Deciding to Go Child-Free?
Have you decided that you don’t want to have kids? Well, get ready for judgements, snarky comments and possibly even getting disowned! Yep. Having kids — as per pushy aunties, family relatives and your local mithaiwala — is the ultimate purpose of a woman’s life. A purpose they make sure to remind you of. Attend one Indian wedding as a married woman, and the question pours in like free booze: ‘When’s the baby coming?’ ‘Selfish’, ‘unsanskaari’ and ‘vaisi ladki’ are just some of the labels assigned to women who choose not to reproduce children.
But more and more women are questioning if that’s the case. According to a Cassandra Report from 2015, in the United States alone, 1 in 3 women don’t want to be mothers. In India too, despite a lack of data, the choice to go child-free is becoming a viable one.
What are the reasons women are opting for this life? Let’s find out.
Society (Who’s Surprised?)
Women face immense pressure and countless expectations when it comes to childbearing. Families, friends and neighbours, are all involved in this decision. Frustrating, isn’t it? In fact, it can get so bad that women fear being disowned or socially shunned, if they choose to not have a baby! The question to have children for Indian women is a ‘when’ and not an ‘if.’
While social norms and patriarchal gender roles where girls are seen as a liability continue to persist, young women have also started exercising their agency. This reflects in the decision of Indian women to marry, where data shows that the average age of marriage is increasing. In a survey conducted by Mint, it was found that approximately 70% of millennials want to marry later in life — between the ages of 26 and 31 years. This exercise of agency also plays a role when young couples are deciding whether or not to have children.
So, Indian millennial women are increasingly choosing a child-free life. An indicator that young women are having a say in household decision-making can be found in the data around fertility rates in India. The total fertility rate has been steadily declining since the past 50 years. And as more Indian women opt for fewer children, it’s possible that the fertility rate may even reach 1.29 by the year 2100.
No cheap feat
Newsflash: Childcare is expensive. As per reports, in India, people spend more than 60 lakh rupees on one child from conception to college. And it can go up to 1 crore and more!
Starting from healthcare to education, transportation and more, childcare costs are high from the get-go. Prenatal and maternity expenses in India can cost up to 1 lakh. And between the age of 17 and 21, parents spend almost 40 lakh rupees on their child!
It’s no wonder then that, as of 2020, almost 20% of Indian millennials are not interested in having a child.
Career > Kids
Knock knock! Who’s there? It’s the wage gap! For some career-oriented women, having kids is a real obstacle when it comes to career. Just ask Serena Williams, whose fitness and health were majorly hit after she gave birth!
As per a Princeton study, childbirth is a large contributor to the gender wage gap. The study notes that after having kids, the earning potential of women drops to 20% less than the males! For men, that’s not the case. Many men actually end up getting a raise once they have kids. And if that wasn’t enough, according to the study, job-seeking women who didn’t have kids were twice as likely to get an interview.
On the flip side, it seems like not having kids is a problem too! In Australia, the opposition party called PM Julia Gillard ‘unfit’ to be a leader. Why? Because she was “deliberately barren” AKA child-free!
You simply can’t win, can you?
Climate of “No Kids”
In case you haven’t heard it in a while: climate change is real. What’s more? It is affecting the child-bearing decisions of millennial women globally.
According to an online poll, for 1 in 4 American adults, climate change and the impending ecological collapse is the reason to not have kids. This rationale is two-fold: saving the world; and saving the children from this world. Another study has found that having fewer children per family can save almost 60 tons of carbon emissions every year.
There’s more. For Indian women, social scientist Amrita Nandy notes, ecological and cultural concerns — pollution, consumption, crime and materialism — put them off having kids.
The life-altering COVID-19 pandemic has also changed things for young millennials. According to a US study, more than 60% of respondents said they were scared and anxious to have kids and plan a family thanks to the ongoing pandemic Covid-19. FYI, studies suggest that 70% of emerging diseases are zoonotic (like COVID). And we are still at threat from almost 800,000 unknown viruses. This only means more risk for future generations. The solution? Don’t have kids. As Lucky from Main Hoon Na says: Avoid ya!
Their argument is simple. Why bring another human into this mess?
Self-awareness and mental health
Becoming a parent is not just about being physically ready for it. You’ve got to be mentally prepared too.
According to an article by The Atlantic, women are also choosing to stay child-free owing to mental health reasons. Some are worried about passing on their issues to their kid. Others are worried that they still haven’t recovered from their parents’ poor parenting!
This means that despite societal pressure, women are choosing to be self-aware and are going for what makes them happy. And, for many, this means not having kids, and finding fulfillment outside of traditional parenthood.
It’s no longer just about: ‘Want a kid? Have a kid!’. Now, it’s about playing: ‘So You Think You Can Be a Parent?’
Just because they don’t want to!
Yep! That’s it. No loopholes, no Easter eggs, no hidden reasons. Some women are child-free simply because they want to be. In fact, ‘antinatalism’ — a philosophy that believes it’s cruel to bring humans into this overburdened world and encourages people not to procreate — is taking a strong footing in India — though the idea is as problematic as pressuring women into popping babies.
Conclusion
To have kids or not to have kids is a decision that is entirely your own. But some people will still want to be all up in your business.
Worried about people judging you? Stereotyping you? Questioning your choices? Channel your inner Govinda and yell: Main chaahe yeh karu, main chaahe woh karu — Meri Marzi!
Don’t feel pressured to follow the norm. And when in doubt, remember what Jennifer Aniston — a happy, childfree and badass actress — once said: “I have worked too hard in this life and this career to be whittled down to a sad, childless human.”
